Ups and Downs and Merry Go Rounds

Plot:
• In this chapter, the IM gives his first speech for the Brotherhood after looking over the materials that Jack provided for him. The IM gives an emotional speech about the poor and the black fighting "dispossession." The IM's speech is heartfelt and reflects his own feelings. The Brotherhood, however, does not like that his speech appealed to emotions rather than their intellect. At first, Jack defends the IM's speech and the energy that it catalyzed in the crowd. But Jack ends up giving in to the other brothers in the end, agreeing that the IM has not been properly trained yet. We find out the Brotherhood does everything in a scientific method and way, and that the IM's training will be based on adopting this scientific approach. After giving such a speech and being lectured by some brothers, the IM embarks on an indoctrination period under Brother Hambro with enthusiasm about the great future that the Brotherhood provides for him.

The Brotherhood

The Brotherhood tells the IM that he will give a speech at a rally, but its failure to guide him further shows that they expect him to just follow their orders without any more details or information.
• Example: No one says anything in the car when riding to the rally. The IM is not advised in a specific direction for his speech – he doesn't know what he's really supposed to do and is expected to again blindly trust others. His only option with the Brotherhood is to trust them for it won't tell him anything else.

The Brotherhood already shows signs of wanting the IM to conform to their desired perception of him.
• Example: Jack is excited after the speech because he feels the IM has created energy that he can now organize and that the people are "just waiting to be told what to do!"(348), a prospect that excites him greatly. However, Jack comes to agree with the other brothers who are disappointed and upset because it was not a scientific speech that reached people through intelligence instead of emotion.
o Analysis: The Brotherhood's reaction to the IM's speech which was full of his human emotions shows how the Brotherhood wants the IM to be. It wants the Brotherhood to adopt an entirely different identity and to deny his own feelings. In response to the IM's speech, the Brotherhood demands that the IM is indoctrinated and undergoes intense study under Brother Hambro. Their eagerness to force him to conform his ideas and beliefs to that of the Brotherhood suggest an aversion for his natural beliefs and expression of his individualism (as he showed in his speech).

In this chapter, a discrepancy has been introduced. There is a different between what the IM wants and perceives the Brotherhood to be and what the Brotherhood is actually like.
• Example: After the speech, the IM reflects on the Brotherhood and thinks about the ways in which it appeals to him. Through the Brotherhood, the IM sees the possibility of achieving something greater and more important than he'd ever dreamed. He doesn't feel limited by the Brotherhood, through which he thinks he can just work hard and reap the "highest possible rewards."
o Analysis: Yet these hopeful ideas of freedom that the IM believes the Brotherhood can provide contrast with what the Brotherhood seems to be like. By sending him away to be indoctrinated and thus to eliminate all these silly emotional speeches, the Brotherhood shows that it does indeed want to limit the IM and will not allow him the personal freedom and rewards he thinks it will. At this point, it is important to note that the IM is truly inspired and excited to do the work of the Brotherhood. Such an attitude shows that he is also ignorant of the Brotherhood's true nature.

The Brotherhood shows that it is hypocritical through their supposed ideas and their actions.
• Example: Speeches about dispossession. Their slogan is “No more disposing of the dispossessed!”
• This is ironic considering Brother Jack told IM to forget about his history and essentially, to dispossess himself of his race.
• IM is actually just a tool for the Brotherhood

Identity
In terms of identity in chapter 16, the IM shows that with his new job, he is also embarking on a new identity. It is also interesting to note the IM's perception of what identity consists of and his prompt sense of the boundaries and limitations of what that new identity must be like in order for it to mesh with the Brotherhood.
• Example: Before the speech, the IM reflects on how part of him has always been "the dissenting voice, [his] grandfather part; the cynical, disbelieving part – the traitor self that always threatened internal discord." He decides he must repress this side of him if he wants to be successful in the Brotherhood.
o Analysis: The IM observes a part of himself that has created conflicting opinions, challenged what he believed. His decision to repress this side of him shows an effort to adopt Bledsoe's principle: success can only be gained if you repress your real feelings and blindly agree.
• Example: he feels he is beginning a new phase in his life. The IM feels like he is "becoming someone else" because of his new clothes and name and circumstances. To him, it is as easy as that to become someone else. His new identity is based on transient and superficial things.
o Analysis: The IM has not yet realized what identity really is because he believes he can change it so easily. He is struggling with the meaning of self. Brings up the questions: Do other people make you who you are? Is he a different person because his name is different. Does name = identity?
• Example: The IM realizes that once he gives that speech – he will be someone else just because then he will be known and looked upon by many people.
o Analysis: Here, the IM realizes that his identity is largely based on how others perceive him. This conclusion allows us to look into the IM's mindset. At this point, identity is to him what others think of him. This notion is dangerous since it suggests that his identity hinges upon others' beliefs.


The speech:
Through this speech, the IM feels free and conviction for what he is saying. Interestingly enough, the Brotherhood strongly disapproves of what the IM believes and articulates in his speech. The content of his speech presents the potential/future conflict of interests between the IM and the Brotherhood.

• The IM gives a very emotional speech which reaches out to the audience's emotions of anger and sadness. The speech is largely about how the IM is voicing how tired he is of being dispossessed by others.
o The speech is also highly ironic: The IM tells the people that they are uncommon because they LET others dispossess them, manipulate and use them. The entire point of his speech is to discourage and stop that kind of manipulation. And yet that is exactly what the IM unconsciously also allows others like Bledsoe, Norton, and now the Brotherhood do to him.
• Blindness is a recurring motif in his speech
o When he steps into the spotlight he is blinded by the light.
 This could be interpreted as the “veil”(from the college) or “a curtain” (341) has been lowered and separates him from reality
 Or he is unable to process the truth of the Brotherhood even though its right in front of him
o Warns of being dispossessed of their very brains and of their sight
 Talks about unity – being blind together is much better than being blind alone
 Talks of taking back their eyes, their sight! – identifying a common enemy and making an alliance
o “They think we’re blind—un-commonly blind…they’ve dispossessed us each of one eye from the day we’re born.” (343)
 Blacks as an entire race are blind
 Two blind men can help each other
 Message of cooperation and helping each other out
o “Let’s reclaim our sight”
 If they work together, they can see more than when they are on their own
 Reclaim from the whites who took it
o Literally blinded after his speech
 Cries: Tears block his vision
 After speech, is rushed by crowd and cant see anything still.
• “I stumbled as in a game of blindman’s buff” (347)
• Can only see after he leaves the stage

"More Human"
This idea is introduced in chapter 16 and carried throughout the rest of the book intermittently. The phrase can be and is interpreted by the IM to mean many different things.
• In his speech, the IM starts talking about his own personal experience even though Jack warns him not to negate his usefulness by doing so. The IM begins to cry as he talks about how he is currently transforming and "feeling more human."
o The meaning of feeling "more human:"
• Later that night, the IM again reflects on what he meant by "more human," and thinks about his Grandfather. He quickly dismisses the idea that his Grandfather, a slave, could have had anything to do with humanity though.
• Cannot specify exactly what “more human” means
o Only thinks of things that he has become less of, e.g. less black, less separate, less an “exile from down home.”
o Interesting to note that there seems to be an ironic connection between sight and being "more human"
 Though he feels he gains "humanity," he has lost his sight or ability to acknowledge his feelings and see the Brotherhood for what it is
o Considers the concept a mystery
 Mirrors confusion with his own identity

Plot:
• After seeing Mr. Emerson, the IM ventures to the Liberty Paints factory in the hopes of getting a job. Upon first entering the factory, the IM is showed around by an office boy who explains the current office politics: The boss is laying off many of the workers and hiring "colored college boys" in their place because the black men are not part of the union and are thus cheaper labor. In this chapter, the IM meets the mean boss Mr. Kimbro who instructs him to mix their white paints. After making a mistake, however, the IM is sent to the basement with Lucius Brockway who makes the actual paint. The IM does not particularly like Brockway, who is almost paranoid about people trying to steal his job, but he learns about Brockway and Brockway's experiences with the paint factory anyway. Later, when the IM goes to the locker room to get his lunch, he encounters the Union group who pressure him into becoming a member. The IM hurries back to the basement only to fight with Brockway who accuses the IM of being a "union louse." In the end of the chapter, the IM is knocked unconscious by the strength of a pressure gauge that pops.

Setting
The various settings reflect important ideas, such as racial inferiority and racial identities in this text.
• Basement:: the basement in which Brockway works is underground. Somewhat hidden, the basement seems an appropriate place for Brockway, who, like his workplace, is not very important and often forgotten.
• Liberty Paints Factory: In any type of factory, products are usually mass produced. It seems appropriate that the IM goes to this factory where paint is turned from black to white as he himself experiments with adopting white and discarding black identities. The factory represents the idea of conformity because all the products that come out of there are the same.

The Symbolism of the Paints
The paint serves as various symbols for the IM's struggle with his own racial identity.
• Example: The black dope goes into the paint and the paint consumes the blackness of the dope. The dope is no longer black, for the paint as well as the dope is now white. The dope undergoes a transformation from black to white. This transformation is symbolic of the one the IM currently struggles with. The IM is like the black dope in that he conforms to the white man's perception or desired perception of the black man as the black dope loses itself and becomes white.
• Example: "Optic White" – the name of Liberty Paint's most famous paint is renowned for being so white that it will "cover just about anything!" (202). The white paint is a symbol for the white identity that the IM is adopting in an effort to cover up his black identity. Identity is similar to paint in that the IM uses it to cover up who he really is.
• Example: The IM accidentally puts concentrated remover into the paint instead of dope. The paint becomes grayish, "a brilliant white diffused with gray" (205). It is no longer a perfect white. Some black has been mixed in – that makes the white imperfect. The need for the paint to be purely white in order to be acceptable reflects the ideology that "white is right."
• Example: Brockway tells the IM that Optic White "is so white you can paint a chunka coal and you'd have to crack it open with a sledge hammer to prove it wasn't white clear through!" The colors symbolize people – coal being black and white being white. White paint is like white identity, covering up black people, black identity and making it hard to find the blackness.
• Example: Brockway helped come up with this slogan for paint: "If It's Optic White, It's the Right White." This slogan is a symbol of the ideology of "white is right." The optic white paint represents the white identity which is correct, right, and acceptable.


The IM Avoids Conflict
Though the IM feels strong emotions such as anger at times, he makes a conscientious effort to avoid any type of confrontation. He refrains from articulating, much less acting upon, his emotions, avoiding conflict at all costs.

• Example: Kimbro explodes with anger at the IM when he discovers the mistake the IM made with the paint remover. In turn, the IM feels angry as well. He is frustrated and mad that Kimbro expected him to know something he could not possibly have known, forbade him to ask questions, and was now mad at him for not knowing. Kimbro's anger is unwarranted and outrages the IM. Despite his anger, the IM refrains from saying anything due to his sincere desire to avoid conflict. As Bledsoe advised, the IM just tries to please Kimbro, a white man despite his feelings.
• Example: the IM avoids any conflict with the union men even though they judge him and call him names to his face, accusing him of being something he's not
o Subsequently, the IM is angry with himself for avoiding conflict.
 Angry that he apologizes to men as he brushes past them to get to his lunch
 Angry that he lowers his eyes
 Angry that he doesn’t say anything at the locker room meeting to defend himself

At the end of the chapter, the IM experiences symbolic consequences of avoiding conflict and refusing to stand up for himself.
• Example: After the explosion, the IM's identity seems to be lost. This loss is shown through his inability to speak.
o “I tried to speak, to answer, but something heavy moved again…”
o The IM pent up all his anger and wouldn't confront those who really upset him, and took it all out on Brockway instead. This pattern of holding it all in resulted a loss of self – a warning that he should not do that anymore!
• Example: “Transfixed and numb with the sense that I had lost irrevocably an important victory” (230)
o The IM never spoke up for himself until the end and ends up hurt and “numb." This consequence tells of the danger of not sticking up for yourself. You only hurt yourself by not standing up for yourself.

Identity
In this chapter, the IM's job serves as a metaphor for his greater identity.
• Example: Mr. Kimbro, the boss at the factory, explains that the IM must not question or ask for explanation. Rather, the IM must blindly follow orders that he does not understand. Kimbro repeats that the IM should just "do what [he's] told and don't try to think about it"(200) – an idea that represents what the IM is asked to do with his entire identity. The obedience that the IM is instructed to show by unquestioningly mixing the paints is the same obedience with which the IM is to approach his entire life.

There are examples in this chapter that show that the IM is constantly being told what his identity is before he can decide for himself.
• Example: The men vote and then the chairman allows him to get his lunch.
o This causes great anger on the IM's part because they didn't even give him a say in the situation and yet made a decision, regarding him/for him already
 The lack of individual freedom and subsequent anger have been part of his life for as long as he can remember. But now the hostility is getting to him.
• Example: the IM comes back to the basement where Brockway is and explains the incident to which Brockway explodes with anger. Brockway accuses the IM of being part of the Union the same way that the Union members accused him of being a fink and threatens to kill the IM. He doesn't allow the IM to explain himself. Rather, he just labels the IM and is done with it.
In this chapter, the IM shows signs of maturing in the sense of a growing capacity to think for himself.
• Example: When Brockway threatens the IM, the IM's life is at danger. Yet he does not immediately know how to respond. He has been taught, all his life, to refrain in these situations. He has been "trained to pretend" that he respected Brockway and accredited him the "same quality of authority and power" that he did to "whites" (225). Despite what he has been told, the IM decides to fight Brockway anyway.
o Analysis: In this incident, the IM has to question what he has been taught, and ends up going against it, showing character growth of some sort. He questions what he has been taught and makes his own decision.

The IM's frustration with others assigning him identities of finkism and unionism and such culminates in his violent confrontation with Brockway.
• Example: Engaging in a violent physical conflict with Brockway, the IM eventually gets Brockway to surrender.
o Analysis: He vents his frustration with the events of the day in this combat. The repression of the IM's anger is clearly shown in this eruption of violence. He then explains that the reason he has felt so angry is because of how Brockway and the Union members have all labeled him and persecuted him for these identities that they forced on him. Through this fight with Brockway, the IM shows how frustrated he is with outsiders assigning him certain identities.

Brockway as the IM's Double
• Brockway, like the IM, is very ignorant to the reality of his life.
o He thinks he is very important, especially in the eyes of an important white man, the "Old Man" because without Brockway to make the actual paint, the factory would be incapable of functioning. And indeed, Brockway is vital because he makes the base of the paint. But he doesn't realize that he is being used. He makes the most important part of the paint but he is shuffled into the basement, hidden from sight.
o Brockway derives his greatest pride from the validation he receives from the "Old Man," a white man who tells him he is good at his job
o The IM could become such a man who is blind to his own inequality as Brockway is
 Example: Brockway hates the "young colored fellas up in the lab" because they are ungrateful to the white man for giving them jobs and Brockway believes they are making the situation worse for all other blacks. Brockway believes he is equal and important to white people because of his job. But in reality, he gives into white racism because he insists that black people please them and make them happy.

The Symbolism of the Labor Movement
• The IM goes back to the locker room to get his lunch and runs into a Union meeting. Many members accuse the IM of being a "fink" – someone who is hired to replace a striking worker – a strike breaker. Fink parallels "nigger" in that they are both said with such disdain and derogatory connotations. They are both also said to be innate qualities that are apparent upon first sight. The unioners talk of people who are “naturally fink minded” (221), as if it is something people can’t control, part of genetics. However, they are still able to blame people, in this case the IM, for it (very ironic). This is similar to the race issue—being black is something that is out of IM’s hands but he is still the object of hatred because of it.

So, i decided that the best place to write my next blog is in SAT Prep. I'm pretty awesome huh? Oh my, I am really tired and this class is so boring. Basically we are doing..well..the SAT... ugh

but there are more important things to talk about - this weekend was amazing.

Friday we didn't have classes (well, I didn't anyway) so Dave (mississippi), Ray and I went into palo alto. We took a bus, which was an adventure because it took us forever. hehe, we didn't really know the bus schedule so we just kindof sat at the bus stop waiting. Hehe hanging out with guys is so much fun. They were doing pull ups on the bus and stuff - basically a ton of fun. Umm so, we went and got SUSHI... Yum! It was pretty good - Unagi and Maguro all the way. hehe, they are two of the coolest guys I've ever met and I love hanging out and talking to them. I think now David knows more about me then anyone else and ray is someone who is so easy to be myself around.

Then after sushi Hana met up with us and they had coldstones - alas, I was too full and out of money... hehe... then we walked down to the store hehe and we bought INGREDIANTS!!! though it took us forever to pick what we wanted to eat we decided on pan seared steak with a sun dried tomato basamic vinegar sauch, garlic broiled asparagus, and the best baked potatoe I have ever had.

Okay, so I started this wednesday and now its friday... hmmm

Basically saturday we went to san fransisco - It was very pretty, windy and a little cold. And a little too crowded for me.

Alas, I fear this is all of this adventure that you will ever read about for I need to do some homework and then I'll be starting this weekends adventures... which I will try to write up a little quicker.

As always - email me! agamick@stanford.edu

Well, maybe I'm not a bad person per se but I am definatly a lazy one. It's been forever since I've posted a blog, and though I think about it daily I never work up the energy to go and do it. Do, for my catch up blog I think I'm going to do 3 things, talk about my classes, talk about my friends, and if I have time I will talk about our trips this weeked.

So, I don't know what i told you last time but I was planning on taking Astronomy, Nature of the Universe, and Conversational french. BUt quickly I realized that Nature of the Universe was not the class for me so I switched over to a polisci class called Intro to American Foreign policy.

Astronomy is pretty sweet. We only have 1 lecture a week on thursdays, and its fairly basic yet interesting stuff. I really like our teacher, he kind of reminds me of Leno... He has the same big build and makes a ton of jokes. He is a solar astronomer and seems like a really cool guy. And then on wednesday we have a lab at the observatory at 8:00. It's kind of small compared to the stuff in LA, but I think its just the student observatory. When we got there this week we had to pick lab groups of five. There were already 3 of us highschool students, and thanks to some planning and some weedling we managed to snag a couple grad students. It's pretty sweet, they are smart, used to college, and have a car to drive us home from labs. That way we don't have to walk 1/2 an hour in the pitch dark with only a flashlight between the 3 of us. This week we spent sometime getting used to the computer program we use, wich is siliar to the one that elise lent me. and then we just spent some time sitting outside pointing out basic constelations. And then finally we used the smaller 16'' telescope, whichis much prettier than mine. We looked at Jupiter, a binart system, and some other basic stuff... It was way cool. I can't wait till this wednesday when we have a better idea of what we are doing.

My second class is polsci... which I think I'm going to like. Basically we talk about all the stuff I LOVE to rant about. And I'm really learning some cool stuff about the time leading up to 911. However the readings for this class are more boring then mr harrison's class and I HAVE SOOOO MUCH TO READ!!!!

My last class is french, which is pretty sweet. Really interesting, my teacher, Marie, is very young and totally cool. We pretty much just hang out and talk. Amazing. But we have had more homework in 2 days then I had all year in french... Hopefully I will be able to not pay attention all year and nail everything.

okay, so I did classes... Friends is next. Pretty much there are 13 of us, give or take. We like to hang out, talk about philisophical issues, play pool. cook, walk, look at the stars, and play... SUPER SMASH BROTHERS. Very interestingly I've gone from being surrouned by girls to being surrounded by boys... I wonder what that means

okay so...

1) Sami - he might be one of the cutest things I've ever met. He's from Dubei in the U.A.E. He's pretty chill, very very very very cute. But in a pretty boy way. He's so funny though, cause he's very young and silly. He's such a player, but I love him anyway.

2) Jon - Poor Jon looks like a total geek, but doesn't act like one. hehe... he's from wisconsin, and is pretty cool. He's got a... sharp sense of humour.

3) Hana - She is the first person I met here, and we tend to do everything together. Sometimes we don't have a lot to talk about. But we hang out a lot. She's very athetic, a swimmer, kind of reminds me of marisa some times with things like surpise parties, romance novels and the like.

4) Lionel - He's like.. Eric...but nicer (sorry buddy) Umm he's funny, kind of young. Totally cool, plays tennis, had a goofy laugh... Good guy

5) Justin - H'es from Alaska... once he killed a grizzly cause it was attacking him...

6) Rebecca - she's totally sweet. She's one of those girls I pick up, we have girl talk together... its awesome

7) Max is a dream. He's a very very very very very talented piano player who is totally sweet and if I ask him to he can play anything for me... He's amazing. He also plays trumpet!!

8) Hason is the funniest person from Hong Kong that I've ever met!! He's really smart, and we tend to spend long periods of time talking about...stuff... just in general

9) David Dobbs - this is the one from Texas. He's really cool, very very nice. Has a great sense of humour. and I think he is secretly looking out for everyone. I didn't go to the bank and the resteraunt didn't accept checks so he covered a couple meals for me. Basically he's amazing, and sweet, haha.. His girlfriend has got herself a good catch.

10) David Borzik - The southern uneducated redneck - Not. Hehe david is from mississippi, he's super cool, very articulate, and has a great mind. We tend to stay up for hours talking about nothing and everything. I think we've had conversations on every subject of importance, and I'm sure that there is more to come.

11) ray... dude ray... he's from hawaii and totally chill about life, about everything. He speaks only when he has something to say. is super fit. And totally fun to hang out with. He david and I are super close and tend to do most things together. oh, and he knows and can give advice on more than he should after 17 years

12) Chirs - chris is this way sweet asian kid, but I don't know him very well... I will have to remedy that soon...

13) ah, the end at last... sooo..... this is Randall.. Guess where he goes to school guys????? LOYOLA!!!! I am so excited!! He's way sweet and very fun to hang out with. he's a genually good kid and always has a great smile.

So I did two of the three, not bad huh? Well, i have to go to french soon. So I will leave it here... I'll do our weekend escursions eventually...

Today was another eventful and relaxing day... wow, this morning seems like so long ago, I can barely remember. We had brunch..... ummmmmmm... I did some stuff at the credit union, fun - not. Basically it was me sitting around for an hour, getting my turn and realizing I couldn't do anything. *sigh* that was special. Then we hung out for a couple more hours. We had Lunch, which was the first meal that Hana and I actually had with "our guys" well, at least most of them. Then we had a scavenger hunt, which was... eventful kind of, not really.

So, Rebecca, David, Lionel, Sammie, a bunch of other people and I started walking towards the things on the scavenger hunt. We got tired went back and got our bikes.. We found two out of 12 things... and suddenly thought that maybe we could find something at the pool...

So we went for a nice swim... (girls email me if you want to know what I was thinking here) it was a WONDERFUL day. sooo pretty, and because of that, when all the guys left Hana was still swimming laps and I decided to take a nap on the grass instead of leave. So I slept for two hours in the sun, WHICH WAS AMAZING!!! hehe, I felt so rejuvinated.

When we came back we had dinner, and Lionel, David, Hana and I had a wonderful conversation about life. Its so nice to talk to someone knew - cause though I love Westridge girls I know their life stories... and its wonderful to have new opinions. After dinner, or "super" as the wonderful Mississippi boy David calls it, we watched Kill Bill. Which I was pleasantly surprised to find that I like. I never like Quentin Tarenteno (yes, I know I spelled that wrong, I don't care!!!) because he's always drunk and I just don't like HIM. But I have to say he has an amazing vision.

Anyway after kill bill we had a dorm meeting, which was pretty uneventful. We just went over the rules AGAIN and then we talked about life in the dorms, it was pretty sweet...


After the dorm meeting... I MET WITH PRIYANKA! yes, that’s right I met with the Westridge hero, priyanka. We went out for coffee at 10, but never actually got coffee. Instead we talked for a while outside CoHo, the Stanford coffee shop. It was nice to hear about transitions from Westridge. She seems to really love Stanford, though she said that Stanford has a pretty small Drama department *sigh*

We were getting kind of cold so we decided to go inside the coffee house, where we found one of her TAs and a friend who works in the lab across from her. It was really interesting to talk to both grads and undergrads - I think I learned a lot about people... and life....

Okay, so... I have Westridgeitus, BADDD... So, if any Westridge girls want to talk about that just give me a call or send me an email

a demain

Well, I'm not a social party animal... but for me I've been pretty active. I've met a ton of people in my short time here. So day 2 at Stanford went like this... Um I woke up 8ish, took a shower (cause I know you were all dying to know that) and then hung out for a while... by myself... I read some much ado (OMG what did I get myself into with that????) ahhh And then I went to an academic advising meeting... that was fun, I'm kind of worried though, cause my classes aren’t "solid" classes... they are only 3 units each and not one of the 5 unit classes... I think I will have to have an individual meeting to discuss and maybe fix my course load. Anyway, while there I met a couple people, but I won't remember any of them.

After the meeting Hana, Stephanie and I had breakfast - met new, nameless people (I feel so bad about that). And then Hana and I spend the next 4 hours biking and walking around campus. We actually got a lot accomplished, we bought all of our books, ID cards, found our classes, got lost several times, basically it was amazing. Stanford is so pretty, I'll put picks up on my flickr soon, I swear.

Then we came home, totally exhausted, and played Super Smash Brothers Melee with a bunch of guys that we identified as "Mississippi boy," "Minnesota boy," "LA Boy," "Really good kid," "Kids who don't want to play," and other, equally clever names. Eventually we gave up to go to dinner and alas we could not sit next to each other because of a lack of seating. But after dinner we played a little Texas hold'em, I got to 3rd place in the first game and the second game was a joke because all we did was talk. After hold'em was the best part of my day...

...

...

ULTIMATE FRISBEEEEEEE!!!!!!! Oh, how I have missed this game!! So first we played white shirts vs. others, and I was on the white shirt team despite my colored shirt. Eventually though, it was evident that we were creaming them - so, to be fair I switched teams... The white shirt team got a little better and actually made some touch downs, but I was quickly getting tired. We played for a couple more hours - AMAZING!!! It was so much fun, I really love that game... I think I need to practice running though.

After playing Ultimate we all went back and took a shower (another one? You guys must be so excited that I have told you about my bathing habits twice in one post!) Anyway, then we went and played some more super smash brothers - which I could barely tolerate... All you fans out there have to understand, my brother submitted me to that game for years - I am SOOOO over it.

So instead of punishing myself further I went to talk to "Mississippi boy" who's name is actually David. And I had one of the best conversations I've had in months. We talked about everything from trig, to theatre, to schedules, to string theory and back. But alas, all good things must come to and end and I came to write here.

So, I think that’s it for today... If you are from Westridge, or a particular friend of mine email me either at gmail or at agamick@stanford.edu and I will tell you what I think about adjusting from Westridge to a coed school and about the more ... personal opinions of my friends (guys and girls) cause you all know I'm harboring them...

LOVE YA ALL!

Hello Everyone. So, obviously this is my first time doing anything like this... so, we will have to see how this works, and if I can keep it up.

Right now I am sitting in my neighbor's room at Stanford Palo Alto... It's amazing. I am enrolled in the summer semester through a visiting high school student program. I am going to be taking 3 classes, Nature of the Universe, Astronomy, and French. The Nature of the Universe class is what I want to do with my life - astrophysics. We get to study the formation of the universe, planetary sciences, and basic astronomical phenomenon, I am so ecxited! The astronomy class is just that - astronomy. but it's really cool cause we get to have night labs where we go out at like 10 and watch the stars through telescopes above the golf course.. My last class is French... Which I am almost as excited about. Its conversational, and it should be pretty tight. and might inspire me enough to live through one last year with Cavanaugh.

So yesterday we left (after being packed for days) and took a 6 hour drive up to Palo Alto. Somehow, I got the front seat and Jason was shoved into the back with all the luggage... After some winding roads, heroing experiences, and me having to tell mom where the curves in the highway were we finally arrived at the Sheraton in Palo Alto across the street from Stanford.

This morning I woke up.. went back to sleep... woke up... went back to sleep. Let's say I was a little nervous. I mean I had every right to be!!! I was leaving for 8 weeks, not going to see my siblings, and not going to relax all summer long. Eventually I pulled myself out of bed, took a shower, got myself dressed, ate breakfast(Belgium waffles from room service) kissed the kids goodbye, and drove the 2 miles around Stanford to Lagunita. All this time my mom was careful to remind me that it wasn't too late to backout, that life was too short to waist doing stuff we didn't know if we wanted to do. Which was NOT helping me feel better about going. But once I was here...

So we were greeted by a bunch of happy, shouting mentors(RAs) and I walked down into the courtyard of Lagunita Court, the area where are dorms are. OMG it was so beautiful! There are a giant shady trees, a grass area, benches and plenty of room to lounge. The perfect west coast college experience. I was shown to my room in ujamaa B (which no one knows how to pronounce and just calls it uj) And for once in my life I arrived BEFORE my roommate so I got to pick my side and unpack first.

Then mom brought the kids back with her to say goodbye...a trying experience to say the least, I was so confused as it was that them being there sent me into overdrive, but I feel really sorry for them. Poor Trevor doesn't want to see me go, Olivia doesn't know why I have to be gone for 8 weeks, and Alexandria just doesn't get it. So I guess I'm glad they came so that they could see all the stuff I'm up to.

Around the dorms I've met several really cool people. Hana is in the room next to me(and I'm currently sitting on her floor) she has a room by herself. She's really cool, very nice. She swims, and is athletic. And is VERY smart. We get along great, and have been hanging out since we met.

I've also met Stephanie, who is from Indiana... oh Indiana... haha... she's nice, very sweet. But she's downstairs and in Uj A.

I've made a couple other friends, but I've forgotten their names... Well, I guess they aren’t really friends as much as acquaintances and starting points.

Together with Hana, Stephanie, Melanie, and a couple others we explored campus, which is beautiful. Our first stop was the "lake" behind Lagunita. "lake" would be an overstatement if it was full, which it is not. The "lake" is a large dip in the ground, big enough for a sizable pond... but there are only a couple large puddles with ducks and fish. It was very pretty though.

We also walked/got lost around campus, its massive. Luckily I rented a bike, and it’s going to be a blast riding around campus.

Tonight after dinner (where we scared away a nice boy names Alex) and after hall meeting a bunch of kids and mentors from Uj went fountain hopping. It was great..kindof... technically one is supposed to run between fountains... You can guess how that worked out for me... A couple other out of shape kids and I lost the group and ended up wandering around on a strange campus in the dark. Luckily we ended up finding them and I got soaking wet in the fountain outside of the library... It was amazing and totally freeing... But here I'm really at college. I can leave campus, hang out, stay out, do mostly whatever I like... It’s a very odd feeling, and I can't wait to explore it!!

Okay, I'm off to continue meeting new people... You should probably send me an email at agamick@stanford.edu if you want me to keep this up!